Archive for the ‘ RANT[s] ’ Category

\flow~

I should be studying for tomorrow’s chemistry exam tomorrow…but I’m in a writing mood haha

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So in my cognitive psychology class, we learned about this thing called flow. It’s supposed to be this series of actions that we kinda don’t have control over….it just happens on its own. But it’s supposed to be good for us and works as a stress-reliever I guess.

I still remember experiencing this kind of flow when I used to play the violin. On some days, the notes just flew out of my hand like my hand had a mind of its own. It was…mechanical precision with fluid grace. I think my life was a lot happier when I had access to this flow, but now my violin is in its case, resting against a wall 2500 miles away from me 😦

Ever since I came to Emory, I’ve been desperately searching for another kind of “flow” in my life ever cause I couldn’t bring my music with me. But that search hasn’t been going too well…

Any kind of cathartic relief would be really appreciated. Some people have suggested me trying a whole slew of activities, but to be honest I haven’t tried because I don’t think I’ll be interested in those things. I guess it’s only me being stubborn again, but I just want some sort of familiarity, I guess?

I’m just trudging onward. Always starting the day, waiting for the end. Taking what little respite I can… and repeat.

Maybe it’s my weak [or lack of] spiritual commitment that’s throwing me off. I’ve been all over the place lately with nowhere to ground myself to. I’ll be happy one moment, then sad the next. Annoyed with everyone and wanting to seclude myself, only to feel lonely soon after. I just want to eat, sleep, and stay in bed for a day or two haha

I feel like life would be so much easier on me if I had something to hold onto, be it God, music, friends, or whatever….

I’m still looking for my flow\~

Just chill out…

I get annoyed by people who take life too seriously.

Sure, it’s important to take life seriously when you need to, but I’m talking about the people who are constantly so uptight and whatnot… There are a fair amount of people who sometimes make me want to go and tell them to just chill out! Who cares about impressing others or trying so hard to live a certain kind of life?

We only get one life. We should try to make the most out of it.

But then again, I guess everyone has their own way of making the most out of their lives? I mean, if you really like being that presumptuous douchebag in class, by all means be it. Just don’t do it in the same class as me cause then I’ll just have to slap you :p What I really mean though is that we should seriously consider our pathways in life…but have a little fun along the way. If you really don’t like what you’re doing, is it really worth it?

Someone told me this recently: “We’re only human. If we work like machines, we’ll only end up breaking like all machines eventually do.”

But I wonder if I’m being too lax lately. Life is passing me by, and I feel like I’m taking one too many breaks. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been so much more…complacent? apathetic? jaded? I’ve started to care less about pretty much everything. I can only hope that it doesn’t come out to haunt me in the end.

For now though, I wish that I can post a sign like this on my door: